Thursday, April 12, 2007



I was thinking about starting a thread on AVEN about this as well, but the site seems to have been down all this morning, so I can't and it's just here. I've been considering coming out, and going through various possible responses people might have to the idea. One that keeps coming up is that while people might be OK with the fact that I have no particular desire to have sex, they'd assume I can only know that if I've tried it, which I have no intention of doing.

So then, in my imaginary conversation, someone might say that I can't know I'm asexual until I at least try it, and there's no reason not to. While I have no problem with discussing sex, the idea of personally having sex does somewhat disturb me, which is why I don't want to do it and would go to lengths to avoid it. So, upon learning this, this imaginary person might say that it's not really a sexual orientation, I just am disgusted by it for whatever reason and think I'm asexual.

If this imaginary person, who to make things less confusing I'll call Bob, is a heterosexual male, he probably would be disgusted by the idea of having sex with another guy, and quite possibly disgusted just by discussion of gay sex. The reverse would of course apply if Bob was a homosexual male, and similarly if Bob was instead a heterosexual or homosexual Mary. All of these possible attitudes of a sexual Bob or Mary are more or less acknowledged as legitimate.

The problem seems to come up when someone feels that way towards both genders; it's like an extra level that some people don't accept. If you want to avoid sex with one gender or the other, not only is that fine that's the most accepted, but somehow it's not possible to be both. I find this quite annoying.